Time To Big Me Up is an account of my life journey in the nearly three decades since my life nearly ended when I was in a coma following a serious car accident. It is a story with my reflections, not just the benefits of hindsight, but honest assessments.

​TTBMU started as an exercise for my benefit, and the benefit of those close to me. This has been due to the events of the last couple of years encouraging me to really look back at my life in depth.

Of all of my critics, I have always been my biggest. This is fine when looking at events with a view to improvement specifically in that area. However that self-criticism, and any negativity attached to it, should not be applied to my life as a whole at the time of the event.

Additionally the self-criticism when used correctly should have a “shelf-life”. If what I at some point deemed as a failure, I use for improvement, then the failure and the self-criticism should be “archived”. They should only be retrieved if a similar failure occurs.

I did not do this well enough. Certainly not well enough after the accident, when I had a huge recovery to make. Anybody who has had to make a recovery from some form of atrocity will know that the recovery will include failures. These need to be recognised, used and then we should move on.

I do use my failures. However, I have not progressed beyond them enough, even when I have turned them into successes. I have always maintained a level of negativity about them.

The deep assessment I have performed over the last couple of years has made me see that I have often been unfair to myself. This has unfortunately then been echoed in my relations to those who are important to me, indeed those who support me.

I have had many failures, but usually I have eventually built them into getting better. I have not done badly in life. I now know I should not have a continual level of self-criticism, self-negativity. I have done my best.

I decided to write this honest story, because I am certain there are many other people out there who unnecessarily have similar issues or know someone who has.

TTBMU is a true life study of how the unavoidable failures can be used to create success.

 

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